top of page
WHO'S THAT LADY IN THE MIRROR?
Who's that lady in the mirror looking back at me?
I don't know who the hell that is, it certainly can't be me
She does look quite familiar though, whoever can she be?
I go and fetch my glasses and blow me, so does she!
I know I've seen her face before, I move in cautiously
She looks surprised to see me and glares back brazenly
Her eyes are creased with wrinkles, her neck hangs saggily
She must be knocking 80, I'm not yet 63
Now I come to think of it, she looks just like my mum
Oh bloody hell, it must be me - she said this day would come!
Search
Harry the Cat - a funny poem about The Cat Distribution System
A photo of Charly the Golden Retriever and Harry the Cat getting to know each other Harry the Cat is my funny poem about the Cat Distribution System and how Harry came into my life. The Cat Distribution System is a playful, mystical internet theory that proposes cats are assigned to humans by some weird cosmic force. This feline phenomenon is a belief that when you find a cat in your life, it is the cat that has mysteriously chosen you as its human – perhaps you too are one
Anita Brooke
Jan 108 min read
A funny poem about the Mystical Powers of Cats in Finding Their Forever Homes - Harry The Cat (or The Cat Distribution System)
Cats have long fascinated humans with their mysterious behaviour and seemingly magical powers. Among these wonders is their uncanny knack for finding just the right place to call home, known as The Cat Distribution System. Harry the Cat is my poem about how Harry came to live with us - even though we have a dog and didn't particularly want a cat! Cats are known for their independence and selective nature when it comes to choosing where they live. Unlike many pets, cats often
Anita Brooke
Dec 2, 20252 min read
Ode to a Litterbug - What I'd Like to Say to a Litterbug
I’d love to tell you to your face You are an absolute disgrace A dipstick dirtbag dumb-arse Imbecilic waste of space You scumbag cockroach der-brain Crawl back from whence you came You good for nothing fleabag Slither back into your drain You dim-wit dullard dunce bucket Moronic troglodyte You cretinous filthy maggot You disgusting lump of shite You dumdum dumbo knucklehead You numb-skull piece of crap You shit for brains, you stinky poop I feel better now, that’s a wrap!
Anita Brooke
Nov 20, 20251 min read
A lighthearted poem about our addiction to Mobile Phones
Phone Zombies THIS IS A WARNING! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK We're being infiltrated, we need to fight back Mobiles are invading us, we're being zombified They're taking over silently, our brains are being fried For some the fight is over, it's too late to bring them back Their eyes are blank, they can't relate, their mouths fall open slack You see them moving gormlessly, mobile phone in hand Eyes are glued, they can't look up - they're lost in Zombie Land You see Phone Zombies every
Anita Brooke
Nov 14, 20252 min read
Nanny's Arc - A Funny Poem about Nanny and Grandad's Adventures in his home-built boat
Grandad liked to make things, he got ideas in his head Then disappeared for months on end to build them in his shed Like when Nanny used to cycle and she wanted a new bike Grandad said “leave it to me, what colour would you like?” It had go-faster stripes and a great big shiny bell But what the saddle used to be, Nanny couldn’t tell When Nanny tried to ride it, it made a funny sound She didn’t like to tell him that the wheels should be round Then one day Grandad announced “I’
Anita Brooke
Jul 31, 20252 min read
Friendship
Friendship When I think about my younger years, I’ve come to realise Just how many friends I had, I loved to socialise My diary told a...
Anita Brooke
Jun 29, 20252 min read
HARRY THE CAT a funny poem about Harry the Cat being rescued and bonding with Charly the Golden Retriever - will they become best friends?
Harry and Charly Day 1 I’ve acquired a pussy cat, much to my dismay I certainly didn’t want one, it just sort of came my way Harry came...
Anita Brooke
Jan 21, 20251 min read
Walkies in January - a funny poem about a winter walk with Charly the dog
Walkies in January Second week in January, twenty twenty-five It’s like the blooming Arctic - how do the birds survive? They’re tweeting in the bushes as me and Steve walk by They sing their little hearts out - ‘Yey, we’re still alive!’ We walk across the golf course, all crunchy, hard and white Each blade of grass has been adorned and glistens in the light It’s a winter wonderland out here, Jack Frost passed by last night My toes are numb, I realise – my wellies are too tigh
Anita Brooke
Jan 8, 20251 min read
A funny, lighthearted poem about the Menopause - Menopause, Letter to my Husband
Dear Husband, love of my life, I’m writing to explain What’s happened to your loving wife, I haven’t gone insane It’s a temporary madness, I’ll soon be right as rain But my body has been ambushed by the hormones in my brain I’m going through the menopause, I know it sounds cliche But anything you say or do might go down the wrong way I’d give me a wide berth, yes I’d keep a low profile You’re walking round on eggshells so I’d tiptoe for a while I’m going through the change of
Anita Brooke
Aug 18, 20242 min read
Does litter on the roadside make your blood boil?? Read my funny, lighthearted poem about litterbugs...........
A lighthearted poem about how litter on the roadside makes my blood boil...
Anita Brooke
Jul 24, 20242 min read
Follow me to see my latest poems hot off the press and to hear them being recited.
Welcome to my poetry blog where you will find lighthearted rhymes by a lady-of-a-certain-age
Anita Brooke
Jul 16, 20242 min read
bottom of page