I’m sick of having highlights but they are a necessity

Without them I’m so mousy, they’re not a luxury

My hair is limp au natural, it’s dull and doesn’t glow

The highlights give a little lift for about a month or so

 

I’ve been going to the salon for over forty years

Every eight weeks more or less, the cost brings me to tears

I’ve done a calculation, that’s 6 times annually

so 6 x 40 times ‘a lot’, you don’t need a degree

 

I can’t believe I’ve spent so much, it’s over 20 grand

I must be bonkers, out of touch, I come from Cuckoo Land

I saw my friend the other day, her hair looked really fab

Not a single hint of grey, mine felt really drab

 

I asked her what her secret was, which salon does she use?

She buys a box of L’Oreal, I nearly popped a fuse!

It costs less than a tenner and it’s easy to apply

So I’ve just got back from Tesco, I’m going to have a try

 

I’m not averse to DIY, I paint my fingernails

I wax my legs and bits at home (with all that that entails!)

So I’m sure that I will manage, I can read after all

I’ll follow the instructions, I’ve got the wherewithal

 

And yet now I’m feeling anxious, it might turn my hair bright green

I should have done a patch test, it could go tangerine

I think I’ve had a change of heart, I’m a bag of nerves and tense

I’ll go back to the salon - bugger the expense!