Our children had left home, our nest had been vacated

We had time to do nice things again but felt a bit deflated

We dived into our hobbies, last minute trips away

Life was good, the house was clean, we rubbed along ok

 

But then our isolation was shattered in one blow

Covid struck, they all came home, upset the status quo

We made the best of everything, we all kept isolated

We washed our hands and watched tv, but felt a bit deflated

 

It happened during lockdown, am I the only one

Who weakened under pressure, they said it would be fun

“Let’s get a dog” they all implored, “it will make your life complete

For you and dad when all alone, a doggy at your feet”

 

I said no for ages, I’m not some sort of schmuck

They promised they’d go dog walking, they’d pick the do-do’s up

They said they would come home more, they’d want to play with him

They’ve not been home for ages now they’re back at work again

 

I stuck to my guns determinedly, I wasn’t going there

I didn’t want my kitchen floor covered in dog hair

They caught me when my guard was low, I’m still not quite sure how

They drove up to Nottingham – we’ve got Charley now

 

I love him dearly, he’s very good, I really can’t complain

He’s quite well trained and friendly but he’s driving me insane

He sits under the table when we have our evening meal

He stares at us with big brown eyes, it’s really not ideal

 

His favourite place to sit is where he’ll be most in the way

He must like being trodden on, it happens every day

He could well be the death of me, he’s there under my feet

In case I drop a crumb of food or offer him a treat

 

My clean fresh-scented house is now a distant memory

I hoover twice a day, a life of drudgery

Dank wet-dog aroma is now wafting through the hall

To welcome friends and family when they come to call

 

So I’ve made up my mind, I won’t give in, it’s time for him to go

I’ll sell him to the highest bidder, I’ve told my husband so

He’s up for sale, a bargain, for anybody who

Would like to take a doggy home and likes to pick up poo

 

And yet, I don’t know, I think maybe I’ve had a change of heart

Everyone will miss him, why upset the apple cart?

The children would be horrified, might never come back home

They’ll think I’m mean, oh what the heck, just give the dog a bone!