Dear Husband, love of my life, I’m writing to explain

What’s happened to your placid wife, I haven’t gone insane

It’s a temporary madness, I’ll soon be right as rain

But my body has been ambushed by the hormones in my brain

 

I’m going through the menopause, I know it sounds cliche

But anything you say or do might go down the wrong way

I’d give me a wide berth, yes, I’d keep a low profile

You’re walking round on eggshells so I’d tiptoe for a while

 

I’m going through the change of life, I’m in a state of turmoil

Hot flushes keep erupting, this volcano’s on the boil

I haven’t slept a wink for weeks, don’t bait this raging bull

I might explode and you could get a monumental earful

 

My universe is foggy, thoughts vanish in thin air

I walk into another room and wonder why I’m there

What did I come in for? What was I meant to do?

I stand there all confused, haven’t got a bloody clue

 

This transition is unpleasant, my head is in a vice

I wish I didn’t feel like this, it isn’t very nice

I’m feeling fat and bloated and my hair is getting thin

And age spots and wrinkles keep appearing on my skin

 

My boobs are sore and tender and my joints ache all the time

I’m going to have to face it, I’m no longer in my prime

My self esteem is plummeting, it’s at an all time low

And worst of all I think I might have lost my libido

 

So I’ve been to see the doctor, she was patient and kind

She said it’s very common to think you’ve lost your mind

She’s given me some patches, I’m already feeling better

I know it’s been tough going, hence the reason for this letter

 

I’m in my second spring now, approaching a new phase

Good riddance to the bloom of youth and reproductive days

I’m beginning a new chapter of self discovery

Praise be to the scientists, thank gould for HRT!