When I’m old and knackered and all my body parts

Have fallen into disrepair, need regular jump starts

If my eyes can’t see and I can’t hear what you say

Don’t force feed me with remedies, just help me on my way

 

My poor old mum’s been poorly, in fact she had a fall

We called the ambulance and she was rushed to hospital

The ward is so depressing, nurse does what she can

But that’s no way to end your days, we need a better plan

 

I think it’s inhumane, why keep the old and sick

Dosed up to the eyeballs? It just defies logic

When I decide I’ve had enough, the time is right for me

I want the right to end my life, at home with dignity

 

I don’t see what the difference is, I’m sure you will agree

When animals fall ill we call the vet to set them free

So why should we be forced to travel all the way

To Switzerland for goodness sake to send us on our way?

 

It really gets my goat, it just doesn’t make much sense

When the world is fit to burst but it’s a criminal offence

To end it all, ie, reduce the human race by one

If all your bits have jacked it in and life’s no longer fun

 

It’s a crazy situation, it really seems absurd

That do-gooders and Nanny State should have the final word

Principles and morals are the luxuries they voice

Why should they deny our right to have the bloody choice!

 

I agree with what they say though, there must be laws in place

To protect the weak and vulnerable, you know, just in case

Apparently some people are mean and calculating

They might put pressure on if you start procrastinating

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love this life, I cherish every day

But I’m getting on a bit now and starting to decay

We have to face the fact - all that lives must die

And I’d like a pain-free option please, when my end is nigh

 

So I’ve signed all the petitions, the euthanasia campaign

I’ve been on lots of rallies in the wind, the snow, the rain

The law should change so we can plan our final au-revoir

We can’t give in, we’ve got to win – this is our last hurrah!

 

So I’ll throw a leaving party when it’s time to say goodbye

With all my favourite people, we’ll keep our spirits high

A dose of something lethal washed down with G and T

Or maybe just a biscuit and a final cup of tea