I hate myself in photos, I’m sure that can’t be me

That’s not how I see myself, not who I want to be

I don’t recognise that woman, that’s not who I am inside

I know they say it never does but the camera must have lied

 

When I see a camera pointing, I seem to pull a silly grin

Which creases up my eyes and highlights my double chin

I think I feel self conscious - how to strike the perfect pose?

I never quite worked out which angle minimised my nose

I haven’t ever mastered how to pull the perfect pout

I guess my lips need plumping and the cracks need ironing out

 

Should I tilt my head coquettishly or point my chin up high?

Should I thrust my hips forward, should I heave a sultry sigh?

Should I stand slightly at an angle?  Should I elongate my neck?

No, I can’t be bothered, I’m just going to accept

That I’m not a supermodel (truer word was never said)

No-one’s ever paid me just to get out of my bed!

 

So I’m going to make an effort to be less critical

Try to learn to love myself with all my warts and all

Embrace my ageing features, try not to be so vain

Let’s face it, we're all younger now than we'll ever be again

 

Now I come to think of it, when I see old photographs today

Ones I know I hated then, I think I looked okay

So maybe all we need to do with photos that we hate

Is refuse to see them straight away, be patient, just wait

Cast forward forty years or so, I’ll think that I look great

I’ll think I’m young and gorgeous now - if I get to 98!

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​Photogenics (an earlier version of this poem) was published in the June 2024 issue of Lighten Up Online (issue 66)