Visit to the Dentist
I have been an NHS patient at my local dentist surgery since I was a child but it has recently become completely private. I can't believe the cost of treatment - it is extortionate! Apparently finding an NHS dentist is virtually impossible now. I worry about people who can't afford it - what do they do??
Anyway, I went for a check up last week to the 'new improved' surgery and it is so plush - I haven't been to a Harley Street dentist, but I imagine this is what it's like!
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The dentist took x-rays and photos of my teeth which she then put up on a huge TV screen in front of me and told me what a dreadful state my teeth are in. She then advised me to have the four amalgam fillings replaced - she said they could start to 'leak' because they are so old, etc, etc. She also recommended I have a brace and that I have my teeth whitened. I am quite happy with my teeth as they are, thank you very much, but for some reason agreed to let her replace one of the fillings the next day. I explained to her that I really don't get on well with needles but she said I would be fine. In the event, I absolutely hated it. I felt sick and faint and the drilling was barbaric! I had a panic attack during the treatment and thought I was going to pass out. When I got home I broke down in floods of tears - I felt as though I had been attacked! I know I'm a big baby and it was only a filling being replaced but that's how I felt. I can't believe in this day and age that they can't make the whole process less painful and terrifying!
I'm pretty sure the dentist (who happens to be the new owner) gave me a hard sell. I am booked to see another dentist to get a second opinion on the treatment she has recommended. The good news is, it inspired a new poem....​
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I'm just back from the dentist and I’m feeling traumatised
It was utterly barbaric and the dentist has advised
My teeth are a disaster zone, there’s so much to be done
She says my fillings need replacing, each and every one
My teeth need to be whiter and she says I need a brace
If she can realign them, she thinks it might improve my face
I asked about the costs involved, she said “What price your smile?
And with all that metal in your mouth, you could soon be senile”!
I think I was impressed by all the diamond rings she wore
And the brand new shiny Bentley that was parked outside the door
So I let her do a filling, it took the best part of an hour
I tried hard to be brave but felt pumelled in her power
I know now she’s a sadist who likes inflicting pain
Now I come to think of it, she looks a bit insane
If she thinks I’m going back there, she can think again
It felt like she was trying to drill right into my brain!
I should have asked the question before I let her loose
Did I really need it done or did she see a golden goose?
I just went for a check up, I thought my teeth were fine
But she had another motive - to unearth a new goldmine
So I’ve made a big decision, I’m never going back
She’s a torturer, a psycopath, a blooming maniac
I don’t know how she sleeps at night, she clearly has no shame
So can you recommend a dentist, or are they all the same?