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Something’s making me uncomfortable and getting on my nerves

It’s been nagging me, demanding the attention it deserves

I’ve been rushing round all morning getting through my to-do list

With a niggling in the background driving me round the twist

 

And then it hit me suddenly, I realised what it was

It’s my bloody bra strap slipping that’s making me so cross

It’s been slipping slowly sideways, it’s been driving me insane

I get it back in place, then it slips back down again

 

It needs constant readjusting, hoiking back where it should sit

I do it all subconsciously, an irritating habit

I’ve tried loads of different styles, they all seem to be the same

I’ve been measured up by experts so bad fitting’s not to blame

 

Honestly, if you could see the state of my bra drawer

It’s full to overflowing with bras I never wore

They’re all so very pretty and they push my boobs up higher

But who the hell thought bras should be fitted with a wire?

 

So I’ve decided now I’m older that comfort is the key

And I’ve been told by other ladies that a bra-lette might suit me

So I went to M & S and found one in my size

But when I lift my arms up, the bra-lette tends to rise

 

I’ve also tried a racer-back which, to be honest, does stay put

But squeezing in and out of it is too much blooming effort

So maybe I’ll just go without like Twickenham’s Erica Roe

I’m going to let them flop about - let them loose and just swing low!