Swing Low
Something’s making me uncomfortable and getting on my nerves
It’s been nagging me and calling for the attention it deserves
I’ve been rushing round all morning getting through my to do list
With a niggling in the background driving me round the twist
And then it hit me suddenly, I realised what it was
It’s my bloody bra strap slipping that’s making me so cross
It’s been slipping slowly sideways, it’s been driving me insane
I just get it back in place, then it slips back down again
It needs constant readjusting, hoiking back where it should sit
I do it all subconsciously like an irritating habit
I’ve tried loads of different styles, they all seem to be the same
I’ve been measured up by experts so bad fitting’s not to blame
Honestly, if you could see the state of my bra drawer
It’s full to overflowing with bras I never wore
They’re all so very pretty and they push my boobs up high
But they pinch under my arms and they make me want to cry
So I’ve decided now I’m older that comfort is the key
And I’ve been told by other ladies that a bra-lette might suit me
So I went to M & S and found one in my size
But when I lift my arms up, the bra-lette tends to rise
I’ve also tried a racer-back which to be fair does stay put
But squeezing into the blooming thing is such a massive effort
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m faulty in some way
It’s my narrow sloping shoulders that let my bra straps stray
So maybe I’ll just go without like Twickenham’s Erica Roe
I’m going to let them flop about - let them loose and just swing low!