Anita Brooke

A photo of Charly the Golden Retriever and Harry the Cat getting to know each other Harry the Cat is my funny poem about the Cat Distribution System and how Harry came into my life. The Cat Distribution System is a playful, mystical internet theory that proposes cats are assigned to humans by some weird cosmic force. This feline phenomenon is a belief that when you find a cat in your life, it is the cat  that has mysteriously chosen you as its human – perhaps you too are one of the lucky...

Cats have long fascinated humans with their mysterious behaviour and seemingly magical powers. Among these wonders is their uncanny knack for finding just the right place to call home, known as The Cat Distribution System. Harry the Cat is my poem about how Harry came to live with us - even though we have a dog and didn't particularly want a cat! Cats are known for their independence and selective nature when it comes to choosing where they live. Unlike many pets, cats often seem to decide...

I’d love to tell you to your face You are an absolute disgrace A dipstick dirtbag dumb-arse Imbecilic waste of space You scumbag cockroach der-brain Crawl back from whence you came You good for nothing fleabag Slither back into your drain You dim-wit dullard dunce bucket Moronic troglodyte You cretinous filthy maggot You disgusting lump of shite You dumdum dumbo knucklehead You numb-skull piece of crap You shit for brains, you stinky poop I feel better now, that’s a wrap!