I'm Going on a Diet
I’m going on a diet, no, I’ve made up my mind Don’t tell me I don’t need to, you’re only being kind I know I’m getting fatter, my clothes are all too tight and my body, once so smooth, has been wrapped in cellulite My standards have been dropping, I’ve been piling on the pounds So from this moment, going forward, Biscuit Tin is out-of-bounds Cookies are my weakness, so crunchy, so divine And pastries, and chocolates, and crisps and dips and wine I’ve given it lots of thought and I’ve written up a plan I’ll stick to it religiously, I’m positive I can I’ve got to take control, if I don’t take some action soon I’ll be like Mr Creosote and explode like a balloon My jeans are digging in and they’re bulging at the seams So to get this diet started, I’ll cut out custard creams I’ll do the gym three times a week, I’m going to be so fit I’ll live on soup and celery - unpack my Nutribullet I had all good intentions then the telephone went and rang And while chatting
